Rating: R for language and violence.
Pairing: Multiple but centered on unrequited Brian and Zacky
Disclaimer: I own nothing. Never happened.
AN: Posted at like 3 am, sorry if there are errors.
It was about 7:30 pm. Johnny and I were sitting down to a dinner when my phone rang.
"Hey Matt something happened at Zack's I know you guys aren't on good terms right now but can you meet Me there please."
It was Brian, he sounded scared and nervous.
"We're just about to eat, but yeah I'll meet you over there. How long?" I asked, I knew he was serious and needed my help.
"Uh, as soon as you can if that's ok, it's important."
"Ok, see you in about 20."
"Ok." The phone went dead.
"What's going on?" Johnny asked.
"Something's going on I'm going with Bri I'm going to check it out. I'll be back later."
I grabbed my jacket off the chair and put it on. I leaned down and gave Johnny a kiss.
"Bye babe. I love you."
"I love you too, hurry back." I nodded and grabbed the keys to my truck and left the house.
Traffic was a hell. It took me 30 minutes to get to Zack's, when it usually takes 15. I pulled into he driveway. I ran up the walk and into the house. It was silent, nothing moved. I walked into the kitchen and saw Frank's body on the floor in front of the refrigerator, his brains staining the white exterior. I headed into the living room was empty, I moved to Zack's room.
I cracked the door silently. Zack was on the floor dead. Next to him Brian held a gun to his head. I opened my mouth to scream but he pulled the trigger. The gun clicked. It was empty. I ran to him.
"Brian! What the fuck is going on. What happened?" He looks up at me in terror.
"Who are you?"
"Brian, stop fucking around and come on, we need to get the fuck out of here." I yelled pulling him up.
"Stop! Don't touch me. Who are you? Get away from me!" he yelled. He turned and saw Zack's body.
"Oh My God!" he screamed and lurched forward knocking into me. He crawled into the corner of the room and started rocking back and forth crying. I slowly walked over to him.
"No get away! Don't hurt me!"
"Hey, hey Brian I'm not going to hurt you. It's ok hon. I'm your friend. Are you ok?" He shook his head. I reached out to touch him but he flinched.
"Do you want me to take you home?" He tried to scoot further into the corner, but couldn't. After a few moments he nodded. I put my hand out. He stared at it like I was going to hit him. Finally he put his shaking hand in mine. I pulled him up, his legs were shaky. I helped him out of Zack's room.
He looked at everything like he had never been there before, even though there was a time he was there more than his own house. I'd have to deal with why he didn't remember later, now the most important thing was getting him back to my house. We walked past the kitchen; I tried to keep Frank's body from his sight, but failed. I heard him gasp, the sight of Frank's brains splattered on the fridge was too much for him, he leaned over and vomited. I felt his legs buckle and he passed out. I carried him to the car and buckled him in, got in the driver seat and peeled out.
When I got home Brian was still passed out, I carried him into the house.
"What took you so long?" Johnny asked not looking away from the TV.
"Help me." I said carrying Brian towards the guest room.
"Oh god what happened?" He said following behind me. He threw open the guest bedroom door.
"I'll explain later." I said as I put Brian on the bed.
5 minutes later the full weight of what happened hit me. I backed against the wall and slid down. What were we going to do? Johnny knelt beside me.
"What happened Baby?" I inhaled and told him everything that I'd seen. He started crying. Not too long agao Zack had been his best friend, even if Zack hated him, Johnny still cared about him.
"What are we going to do?"
"I don't know, Brian needs to get help if he can't remember."
"It's not like we can take him to the doctor, they'd ask questions." Johnny said laying his head against the wall.
We didn't talk much after that. He fell asleep in the corner. I didn't sleep that night, I was up thinking about everything that had gone down. The next day aroud noon Brian was still sleeping. When I went to check on him he started talking in his sleep. He was mumbling; "he's gone and never coming back." I got up and stood near the bed checking on him. "I love you too Zacky. Why do you keep apologizing?" Then he flinched like he heard a loud noise. "Zack?...Zacky?!" He started yelling. He was silent for a few minutes then he started crying. I hate hearing the ones I love cry; it hurts my heart so much. I'll do almost anything to make them stop. Tears were running down his cheeks. I shook his shoulder.
"Brian, wake up." He opened his eyes and panicked.
"Hey Brian, it's ok. Calm down." He was shaking badly.
I was on the phone with someone named Zack. I didn't know who he was but I knew I loved him. He kept apologizing He loved me too. There was a loud noise. Then I was running. I came to a house and ran in. There on the floor was a guy. I started crying.
Someone was lightly shaking me awake. I opened my eyes and it was the guy from before. He looked so familiar, but I couldn't remember. I panicked.
"Hey, Brian, it's ok. Calm down." I was so scared. Where was I and who am I?
"Who are you?" I asked quietly.
"You don't remember me at all?" I shook my head.
"I'm Matt. We're friends. I went to school with you."
Why didn't I remember that? Could I trust him? He did help me out of the house I was in earlier. Maybe I could trust him.
"You keep saying my name, what is it?" I asked. He looked sad.
"Your name is Brian Haner Jr. You're 20 and you live in an apartment not far from here."
"How do I know you?"
"We've known each other since the first day of kindergarten. We grew up together."
What else could I ask him? He seemed to know me well.
"Who's Zacky?" At the mention of his name tears fell from his eyes.
"Zack is our friend, we grew up with him too. You were in love with him." He wiped the tears off his cheeks.
"Why are you crying?"
"I don't think you're ready to hear it." He said quietly.
"What happened to me?"
"I don't know exactly, I'm sorry."
"Do you know what happened to Zack?" He nodded.
"Kinda, Earlier tonight you called me and said something was wrong with Zack. I agreed to meet you at his house. On my way there, I ran into horrid traffic. When I got there Frank, Zack's boyfriend was dead in the kitchen. I went into Zack's room. That's where I found you. You were lying beside him. Before I could say anything you put a gun to your head and pulled the trigger. The gun was empty. I don't know what happened to you, but when I got to you, you didn't remember anything." He cleared his throat.
"I need you to tell me what happened, but you don't remember." He looked down.
"I'm sorry, I wish I could remember."
"It's ok, we'll figure something out." He reached out and hugged me. I had to force myself not to flinch at first. He smelled familiar, his presence make me feel calmer.
The doorbell rang.
"Who the fuck could that be?" Matt said.
We slowly stood and walked to the living room.
"Stay here." He said leaving me behind as he walked to the door. He opened the door only wide enough so he could see out and I couldn't be seen, there was a police officer in the doorway.
"Can I help you?" Matt asked.
"Do you know where a Brian Haner is?"
"Why is he in trouble?"
"No, but he's the last person Zachary Baker called before he died. I need to talk to him." The image of me on the phone in my dream flashed in my head.
Matt didn't look happy, but he opened the door.
"Come in and I'll explain everything."
They started walking into the living room. All I could do was sit on the couch and shake.
"This is Brian." Matt said pointing to me. Matt sat down beside me. The cop stood in front of me. I sat back as far as I could and scooted closer to Matt, I don't know why but he made me feel safe. I could tell that we had been through a lot together, I just couldn't remember.
"What did Mr. Baker call you about?" The cop asked me. I shook my head.
"I don't remember."
"Son, we need to know you better start remembering!"
"He doesn't remember me. Something happened to him." Matt yelled in my defense.
"Explain." The cop demanded.
"Around 7:30 pm last night Brian called me and said there was something that had happened at Zack's. He asked me to meet him there. I agreed. I got stuck in traffic and was delayed for 15 minutes. When I got to the house Brian was already there. I went inside and saw Frank's body. I went looking for Brian and Zack. I went to Zack's room where I found Zack on the floor dead. Brian was laying beside him." Matt sniffled.
"Then he brought a gun to his head and pulled the trigger, but the gun was empty. I ran to him, and when I got to him he didn't remember anything. I brought him back here." Matt put his head in his hands. His tears fell darkening the already dark blue carpet. It hurt my heart to see him cry. I didn't know what else to do so I hugged him.
"And why didn't you call the cops?" the police officer yelled causing us both to jump.
"He didn't know who he was or what was going on, and I was in shock. All I wanted to do was get him out of here before I lost another friend!" Matt yelled in the officer's face.
"Well if he remembers anything else call this number." He said through gritted teeth. He slammed the door when he left. Matt let out a huge sigh.
"That went better than I imagined." I nodded. It could have gone much worse.
A short guy with a Mohawk came into the room.
"Brian you're awake!" He ran at me. I freaked out and wedged myself between Matt and the back of the couch.
"Freeze!" Matt yelled. The guy instantly stopped.
"You need to calm down. He doesn't remember you." The guy with the mohawk looked like he was about to cry.
"Why doesn't he remember me?"
"I don't know. Shock maybe." Matt turned around to face me.
"It's ok, he won't hurt you."
"Who is he?" I asked.
"He's Johnny, we grew up with him too." Matt explained.
Johnny started crying.
"What's wrong babe?" Matt asked.
"Zack's gone, and now Brian doesn't know Me." he said in between sobs.
Like I said, I hate it when people cry. I got out from behind Matt and hugged Johnny.
"I'm sorry. I wish I could remember you." He smiled and hugged me back.
"It's ok, I know it's not your fault B." I looked at him oddly.
"It's Johnny's nickname for you. You've had it forever." Matt explained. I nodded.
It's now been 3 weeks since that day, I still don't remember anything except for the dream that I kept having.
"Maybe we should go to Zack's it might help you remember." Matt stated after I finally told him about the dream I kept having.
20 minutes later Matt, Johnny and I were in the car on the way to Zack's. The cops had ruled it a Murder suicide. Zack had killed Frank and then killed himself.
We arrived at Zack's; the house hadn't been touched except by the crime scene investigators, everything was left the way it had been before.
"Here, sit here and I'll be right back." Matt said pointing to the couch. Johnny sat with me. Minutes later Matt returned with a few photo albums. He sat between Johnny and me and handed me one. I looked up at him.
"It's ok, look through it." He reassured me.
I opened the first one he had given me. The first page held a picture of 4 small boys.
"That's Zack on the left, you beside him, then me, then Johnny. This is the first picture taken of us just hours after we all met and became friends." Matt said pointing each one of us out.
As I looked at the picture I started remembering that day.
I hadn't been scared until I saw all the other kids. The teacher made us stand at the front of the room while she assigned seats. She put me at a table with 3 other boys.
"Hey, my name's Matt, what's yours?"
"Hi Brian, do you want to be friends?" I nodded. He smiled and turned to the boy on his other side. I followed his example. The boy on my right was smaller than me, but not by much.
"Hi. I'm Brian, what's your name?" He looked at me.
"Hey Zacky, wanna be my friend?" He nodded.
Later I introduced him to Matt.
"Matt this is Zacky."
"Hey Zacky." Matt said waving.
"My name's Zack, not Zacky." He said. Matt nodded and pointed at the tiny guy who was on his other side.
"This is Johnny." Johnny waved timidly.
"Brian?" Matt touched my shoulder bringing me out of the memory.
"You ok man?" he looked at me carefully.
"Yeah I'm good. I remember that day now, the day we all met. I'm the only one who was allowed to call him Zacky."
"Yay! You remember!!!!" Johnny exclaimed.
I nodded. Matt smiled but didn't say anything.
Each picture that I looked at the memories came flooding back to me. There were hundreds of pictures, pictures of parties and some of us just lounging on the couch being lazy. There were lots of pictures of graduation too.
There was one more photo album. Before I opened it Matt stood up.
"I got to get some fresh air."
"Me too." Johnny said standing too.
"You going to be ok by yourself for about 10 minutes?" Matt asked. I nodded.
I opened the last album. I flipped through the pages. The whole album was of just Zacky and I. There were goofy pictures like me holding up a sign that said; "Zacky rox my sox" and one of Zacky holding a similar sign that said; "Brian rox my sox" I laughed as the memory of that day came back.
The whole album except 3 pages was of just us. The last 3 pages had pictures of Zack, some guy I didn't recognize and me. In every picture he was all over Zacky. In each picture I looked less and less happy. From the moment I saw the guy I hated him, even though I couldn't remember why.
Then all the memories hit me at once. The guy was Frank, he took Zacky away from me, he was the reason our friendship fell apart. He called Zacky 'Zacky' even though I was the only one who was allowed to call him that. I remembered fighting with Zacky, and all the yelling. I remembered the day he asked me to meet him at the coffee shop. How I found out Frank hit him. The white-hot rage that came with the discovery. The feeling of my heart breaking as he walked away from me after I told him that I loved him. I remembered he called me sometime after that apologizing many times. When I asked him what was wrong he just said he was sorry, then he told me he loved me. Then there was a deafening sound. Lost in the memories I didn't hear Matt and Johnny come back in.
I remembered calling Matt and speeding to Zacky's house. I found him on the floor dead. I cried and cried until I heard the door slam and Frank yell for Zacky. I picked up the gun and walked out of the room. Frank was in the kitchen. I put the gun to his head and made him get on his knees. He begged for his life, but I yelled at him and told him it was his fault that Zacky was dead. Then as he begged me not to do it but I pulled the trigger, splattering his brains all over the fridge. I remembered going back into Zacky's room and laying next to him, putting the gun to my head and pulling the trigger, but the gun was empty. I remembered everything now.
"Brian?" Matt yelled snapping his fingers in front of my face.
"I remember everything now." I mumbled.
"Are you ok? You zoned out for a while. What happened?" Matt asked.
"Zacky killed himself while I was on the phone with him. I went to the house and found him. Then Frank came home. He was in the kitchen. I made him get on his knees; I blamed him for Zacky's death. I shot him. I went upstairs and tried to kill myself, but that's when you came in. I killed him."
The photo album slipped out of my shaking hand and hit the floor. A piece of paper with my name on it fell out and landed on the floor. I picked it up and opened it.
Today I asked you to meet me because I needed to talk to you. You saw through my lies, I could never lie to you, I should have known better. You saw what he did to me, you begged me to leave him. But I can't. You told me you loved me. Finally I got what I wanted, but I had to leave. I probably will never give this to you, but I had to get it off my chest. I love you. I always have and always will. I'm sorry that you will never know this. Even thought you love me, you deserve better than me. I'm not good enough for you.
This was too much to take. I had so many emotions flowing through me I didn't know what to do. The strongest one was my sorrow from being without Zacky. I missed him so much; it was like a part of me was missing. My heart hurt. I didn't want to live anymore. My heart was shattered into a million pieces. I lost the will to live and I shut down.
"Hey Brian, we miss you buddy." I said squeezing Brian's hand as he stared ahead, his eyes no longer holding the life they once used to. A year ago today marked the day Zack died. Brian's heart and soul died that day as well.
"I'm sorry but visiting hours are over." Said a nurse that had walked over to me.
"Ok. I'll see you tomorrow Bri, we love you." I gave him a hug goodbye and left. Brian hadn't spoken since the day he remembered everything. The cops found out that he killed Frank and stuck him in a mental institute.
The next day about 20 minutes before we had to leave to go visit Brian I received a phone call. Brian had passed away in his sleep. His heart gave out. He died of a broken heart. Even though my heart broke a little, I was happy, now Brian was with Zack where he belonged.
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